Where's the Birdseed?

I grew up in the south.  I lived in the south and west most of my adult life.  Recently I attended a classic Midwest wedding.  The next day I was asked if there were differences in this wedding compared to weddings of my past experiences.

 "You bet!"

A program was handed to us as we entered the church.  One side listed the complete wedding party right down to the personal attendants.  This was helpful.  I did not have to tap the stranger's shoulder in front of me to inquire if I was supposed to know all these people.  Sometimes my mind takes a flying leap out the window and doesn't return for days.

The other side was the Order of Ceremony.  This too was informative.  I have been to weddings and heard a moving wedding song but never learned the name.  The Order of Ceremony listed the songs names and musicians.   

After the "I do's" and the wedding party departed down the aisle, I grabbed my purse preparing to head for the door.  Suddenly I was the only one standing.  Everyone else had plopped back down in their seats.  I planted my rump quickly in the pew.  The new Mr. and Mrs. returned to the church.  They dismissed guests row by row with smiles and hugs.  We were able to offer our congratulations without having to fight for time at the reception.

It was then time for the reception.  Which was in another town about thirty minutes away.  I wondered how the bride and groom would get there.  Would there be a limo?  Would their car be decorated?  That's when I noticed a black psychedelic party bus.  Coolers were being loaded on to the bus by the wedding ushers.  The entire wedding party followed.  The bus sped off to parts unknown.

All the guests assembled at the reception.  Drinks and snacks were waiting for us.  Shortly ACDC took over the reception hall by the DJ.  "Back in Black" was blasted as the wedding party was introduced.  Bridesmaids and groomsmen made dancing entrances.  The bride and groom danced their way in also.  I can honestly say I have never seen such a Hollywood entrance.

There were games at this wedding.  The bride and groom sat back to back with one of their own shoe and one of their new spouse's shoe.  The point was to see how well they actually knew each other.  The DJ asked personal questions like, "Who is the better driver?"  (A loaded question if you ask me!)  A shoe was held up for the answer.  This couple knew each other fairly well.  Either that or the bride is wise and let her man think he is the better driver.

On the way to the buffet I spied the dessert table.  There was no elaborate tiered wedding cake.  The table was loaded with frosted cupcakes, creamy cheesecakes, mouth watering bars, and colorful candy.  There was a chocolate cake decorated with Iowa State and University of Iowa logos.  (The bride and groom are a house divided on this issue.)  I would call this a groom's cake.  Sadly there was no cake cutting ceremony with the new partners delicately feeding each other a slice of moist white cake.  Or shoving it in each others face.  Depends on the wedding, I suppose.


The DJ announced there would be no dollar dance.  Dollar dance?  Was someone going to strip?!

I was informed a dollar dance was where you pay a dollar to dance with the new bride or groom.  This money was used to help pay for the wedding.  Instead there would be two buckets coming around.  The buckets were decorated with Iowa State and University of Iowa's logo.  It was a competition.  The end result was neck and neck.  I can't remember who won.  I can't seem to get the two schools straight in my head.  I was actually searching in vain for the Florida bucket.

The rest of the evening was the typical wedding festivities.  Music, dancing, visiting with friends.

Except there was no bouquet tossing or garter scramble.  How do we know who gets married next?  I had people I was planning on shoving to the front line to catch these things.

The bride and groom didn't have the traditional send off.  There was no tossing rice on them.  Or saturating them with bubbles.  I think they missed out.  On my wedding we had guests throwing birdseed as we ran to our waiting horse and carriage.  Beer was popped open in the carriage as birdseed continued to fly through the air.  Doug must have been excited.  He forgot to cover his bottle.  His beer was chunky.  I wondered if he was going to have grass growing in his stomach.

This Midwest wedding was fun!  Nice ceremony.  Tasty food. Good music.  And everyone looked great all fancied up!  The groom's father was decked out in a sophisticated gray tuxedo.  He is a school bus driver by day.  He informed me he was wearing the tux for driving the bus this school year.  Maybe he will trade in his standard bus for a yellow limo.

My daughter is getting married in a year.  This Midwest wedding has given me some ideas.  I wonder if for the favorite mother in law and favorite son in law dance we could do the hokey pokey?

Congratulations to Sean and Ashlyn!  Here's to many exciting years to come.  Don't be afraid to let the birdseed in life rain over you.