Angie's Chainsaw Massacre

Jack's traumatic ER experience was behind him.  He was now ready to be useful.  This entailed becoming a master instructor.  He was going to teach me to use my chainsaw.

I needed some trees cut down.  I phoned up my friend, Denny, to beg his help in this endeavor.  He agreed to come over and teach me to properly use my chain saw.  One sunny humid morning Denny and his wife, Amy, came riding to my rescue in their Ford truck.

Denny informed me he was going to cut down the trees then he would show me how to use the chainsaw.  This wasn't what I had envisioned, but okay.  Denny poured oil in his saw.  He cut.  He sweated.  Amy and I hauled limbs and trees to my burn pit.  I waited for my lesson.

And waited.  And waited.

Just when my patience was evaporating with the summer heat, Denny turned to me and calmly said, "I'm not going to teach you to use your chain saw."

What!  This was the deal!  What did he mean?

He went on, "You shouldn't be out here alone using a chain saw."

What a man!  "Don't you use your chainsaw when your alone?"  I shot back.

"No.  The dog is always with me."

"Well, the cat is always with me!"

I sensed I needed another teacher.  That's where Jack came in.

We grabbed the chainsaw out of the shed along with the bar oil and some special tool to open where the oil goes.  Oil was poured.  Jack proceeded to tell me about the black thingamajig on top of the saw that was an emergency shut off.  (Yes, he had a name for it.  I just can't remember.)

Time to hack away on a tree.  The saw was lighter than I anticipated.  It was deafening.  Jack had to holler instructions to me at the top of his lungs.  "Hold on tight!  Don't jerk, slow and steady!  Brace your legs!"

I did all this and in no time the tree was reduced to rubble.  Or large sections.

It was actually fun.  More cutting.  More noise.  We had Claudia picking up pieces to haul to the burn pit.  That was fun too!

A couple hours later, trees were downed and cut into pieces.  They were transported to the pit.  We were hot and sweaty.  (But still smelled like roses!)  It had been an enjoyable learning morning.

Jack went home confident in my ability to handle a chain saw.

I have not used it since he left.  There was one problem with working the saw.

I couldn't start the dumb thing.

I've been grabbing my barbells and doing upright rows to build up my lats.  Hopefully that will put more muscle in my pull.  In the meantime I will have to find some helpful soul to take pity on me and pull that chain saw to life.