Ode to My Computer

I had a computer I liked.
Not loved.  But liked.
It was sick and needed an operation.
Surgery did not go well.
Poor computer ended up in hell.

A sleek new computer arrived on the scene.
For me it was the fanciest I have seen.
It is in it's terrible twos stage.
Slow and digging in it's heels.
It has made me make devil deals.

"Computer please work. I'll give you a treat."
Mechanical thing thought, "Halloween, Trick or Treat!"
Trick was to take a break every nine minutes.
Gurgle and churn and rattle.
If I could find my husband, I'd tattle!

There's apps on your new baby.  They're great.
These apps on my nerves they grate.
They have weird pictures and names that change.
One day all in Spanish it was all there.
I can't learn another language.  I'd pull out my hair!

These new-fangled computers are good for your heart.
Yes.  If exploding in your chest brings peace to the heart.
I think my smart new computer is the dumbest thing ever.
Then I look west.
At my husband's desk.

He has a computer he loves.
Not likes.  But loves.
It is so intelligent and gives him no trouble.
Why then are there two screens?
And two typie-things.  Keyboards, I mean.

I guess this naughty thing will do.
I won't chuck it out into the morning dew.
I will learn to handle it with kid gloves.
Cause for me it would be a sin,
to be like my husband and have twins!