Drag Queen

When people find out I was a preschool teacher, I become the go-to babysitter for all kinds of things.

"Will you watch my house?" 

"Of course."  I guess chasing ten little imps around for three hours a day makes me trustworthy.  It is great fun to see other people's decorating taste.  I have only one question-Why a deer head in the dining room?  I don't want a head watching me devour the rest of his body.

Then there's the, "Can you watch my dog?"

This is a little more up my alley.  Dogs.  Kids.  They are basically the same.  Give orders.  Feed on a regular basis.  Clean up poop.  No problem.

I watched my cousin's dog for a weekend.  He ran off on walks.  Ran around the property without supervision.  Slept outside in his kennel.  He was like having a teenager.

My Uncle's dog stayed with me for two months.  (My 95 year old uncle, who lives alone, was recovering from a broken leg.  He is now fine and back out on the farm.)  She could make pitiful eyes like my preschoolers.  Her ears needed scratching every day.  We walked every day. (  Yes, even when it was 3 below zero.  I froze my nose off.  Don't know why it couldn't have been some of my butt.)  The dog demanded people food with those eyes.  Doug had to share his spaghetti.  He hasn't forgiven me yet. 

In San Diego I had an exceptional student, Julia.  We have known her family for about twenty years.  She was the apple of my eye.  (I once asked her if she knew how to blow her nose. As I was grabbing a tissue for her, she replied "Yea."  Snot was snorted in a three foot radius.) 

I understood why her father, J.R., asked me to babysit his new baby.  (Sorry, Julia, you are no longer your Daddy's baby.  But I will still claim you.)  I am responsible, quiet, and trustworthy.  He left me with his candy red '68 convertible Camaro.  It must be exercised every week.  Gotta blow all the junk out of the carburetor you know.  It can go from zero to seventy in 3.2 seconds.  This baby beats all the sports cars in the neighboring towns.

The Camaro will only be with me for two more years.  I should be able to claim the unofficial drag racing queen trophy by then.  Thanks J.R. for making me famous.