My Hero

My hero was outside in the bright morning sunshine.  He came in and chased me around the house, trying in vain to touch me with his cold hands.  It was 30 degrees outside.  Why he was outside taking pictures in 30 degree weather remains a mystery to me.  "Where are the winter gloves?" he asked.

I had moved and arranged things neatly in the six weeks he was gone.  So I lead him to the closet between the kitchen and laundry room.  I reached down to pull out a basket of gloves when a small gray rodent zoomed past my hand.

"Get it!  Get it!"  I frantically yelled. 

"What?"  There he was standing calmly with his hands in his pockets.

"That huge rat in the closet!  Where are those micers we sleep with?"

Huge rat got my hero's attention.  He was thinking fast.  "Shut the doors, block off the area, go outside and get a broom.  And bring me the cats. "

I quickly scampered off to the bedroom.  "What are you doing in there?"  he asked.  "Well, I'm still in my robe and slippers.  I run, I mean, think much faster in my tennis shoes."  Duh!

So, with all doors shut, boxes surrounding the area and the cats in place, well, the cats were locked in the hall with us.  The big scardy cat was crying to be let out and the baby was playing with her pink fuzzy ball.  I was assured when we got her she would be a good mouser.  We need a refund for that free cat!  My hero went in the trenches of the closet, while I was armed ten feet back with the  broom.

He gently moved the cat food, scooted the winter gloves around, rustled the paper bags and out popped Speedy Gonzales!  "He's out!  He's out!  Do something!,"  I yelled.  It all happened so fast, I'm not sure who threw the box on top of him, my hero or me with the broom.  I am sure it was not those cats.

How to get Speedy out of the house?  My hero had a plan.  He slid a paper bag under the box and lifted it up and out and door.  "Don't kill it!,"  I called behind him.  I was rewarded with "that look."  You know the  look.  The one your husband gives you when you say oxymoron things but if he doesn't do as you ask he'll be sleeping in the hen house for eleven nights.  So off Speedy went to his new home in the field.

Now all my hero has to do is figure out how Speedy got in.  Cause if a mouse crawls in bed with me, we will all be sleeping with him the hen house.