Men!

Men!

            Mid-Life crisis men these days!  They see Barbie women on the big screen and think we should all be like that.

            Actually the typical female could and do look just like that.  We just choose not to squeeze ourselves into a breathing prohibitor body spanx.  We choose not to starve ourselves for four and half days before getting our picture taken.  We choose not to sit in the sauna for hours on end to loose six pounds of water to fit into the tiny black dress.

 We every day women actually like our curves.  It defines who we are.  Our hips represent the wonderful children we have brought into this world.  Our chest (even if they may  touch our knees) also are memories of our children.  The ever expanding thighs are evidence of our ability to sit and listen to our significant other's

day and troubles and triumphs in life. We have joy lines and worry creases that represent the sensitivity we have for our family and friends.  

            Men over 50 are no Orlando Bloom.  Have they taken off their rose colored glasses and looked at themselves in the mirror?  There's hair on their back that would grow radishes!  Nose hair protrudes at all angels out of their honkers.  And the ears!  Oh how it used to be fun to kiss those ears.  But the midlife man has this disgusting fuzz curling around the inside.  Have you noticed how large and droopy those once small and firm ears have become?! 

           Do these "I can't see reality" men realize everything we have given up for them?  Suppose I wanted a pet raccoon.  One that I could cuddle with and would sleep with me.  But my man was allergic.  So I had to settle for a pet opossum instead.  While the opossum was a fine pet, he didn't cuddle and was not as loving as a raccoon.  But anything for the happiness and health of the man.

            We women seem to follow our men's dreams forsaking our own.  We move.  We leave our families and our jobs.  We go to their yawn invoking office parties. We have drinks and dinner with less than interesting females because the man thinks her husband is his new best friend.

          So mid-life crisis men get over yourselves.  We women are what we are-smart, funny, the real deal.  Buy a convertible or a Harley.  Take us for a ride with the wind in our hair.  (If the man has any on his head!)  Let's redefine ourselves together in this wonderful time of-The Children Have All Grown Up and Moved Out!

P.S.  I just want to add this text is totally irrelevant to my loving husband.  After all he did just buy me a wonderful claw foot bathtub.  So between him and the contractor that is installing it, makes them the most adored men ever!